Bohemians In The Brewery
by EmilyAlice10
Summary: Pretty much, the Bohemians get lost in a brewery and Collins goes a little crazy with the Stoli. I may add other chapters with more of their adventures ‘cause lets face it, they could do SOOOOOO much if left alone in a brewery!
1. Swimming

**Bohemians in the Brewery**

**Summary **– Pretty much, the Bohemians get lost in a brewery and Collins goes a little crazy with the Stoli. Yea... Then I may add other chapters with more of their adventures in a brewery, 'cause lets face it, the bohemians could do SOOOOOO much if left alone in a brewery. Humor rocks. This is what you get when you are stuck in your auditorium, listening to your principal talk, crowded in with the rest of your grade for the THIRD assembly of the day.

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"OMG!!!" Screamed Maureen as she ran trough the door to the loft where the other seven bohemians were sitting, trying to think of something to do. You would think in the city that never sleeps there would be something to do at 3 on a Saturday afternoon. "The local brewery that Mimi and Angel love so much is having an open house!!! We should totally go on a tour!!"

"Stoli!" Screamed Collins.

"YAY!" screamed Mimi and Angel simultaneously.

"I wonder if they give free samples," Mark wondered as he toyed with his camera.

"Stoli!!" Screamed Collins again.

"They better if we're gonna go!" said Roger.

"STOLI!!!!!!!!" (A/N can you guess who said that?)

"Oh my God, Collins," Said Benny, "They will have Stoli"

"So let's go!!" Cried Maureen as she bolted out the same door that she had just ran in. The rest of the 'soon to be drunk' followed her.

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"Welcome to the first New York City brewery," Said a voice from the loudspeaker. The eight friends ignored it, much more interested in the posters of vodka on the walls. "Please wait for your tour guide in the main hall, at the end of the tour you will be let out into our testing room for free tasting." At this announcement, everyone looked up at the loudspeaker like God had just spoken.

"So, what are we waiting for?!?" Screamed Angel as she ran over to the nearest tour guide. "Hi, I'm Angel." She said. The tour guide looked a little shocked that a drag queen, followed my 7 other people that could NOT be classified as normal had just run over to her.

"Umm.. okay..." she said as four other tourists came over to join the group, "Let's get started."

She began to walk down a large corridor. She pointed out beers and rum vats, and she even let them go in the alcoholic fermentation room. She showed them about every liquid that could get them drunk known to man. All the bohemians were mesmerized, although all were anticipating the tasting room more than anything.

At one point Maureen looked around her. "Hey guys," she said, "Where's Collins?"

Everyone looked around but no one saw Collins.

"The last time I saw him was at the Tequila exhibit." Angel said. "He was leaning over the edge of the rail so far, I thought he was going to jump right into the vat of Tequila." The seven friends froze, then glanced at the others to be sure that they were all thinking the same thing, then broke into laughter as they ran (or rather stumbled, like they were already drunk) back down the hall. The tour guide tried too stop them for a moment, but soon realized these people were way to out of control for her, she just continued the tour and considered herself lucky that they were gone.

The seven, still laughing hysterically, stopped outside the Stoli exhibit.

"Collins!!" "Come on man!" "We know you're here somewhere!" they all screamed.

"There he is!!" Cried out Angel. She was leaning over the bar to the vat of Stoli. They all looked down, and strangely enough found Collins _swimming_ in a vat of Stoli.

"Hiiiiii guuuuuysss," Collins slurred. "Whhhhat's uuup? Hooooowssss the toooouur?"

"Collins, what are you doing?" Mimi said.

"Swiiiiiiiimming. Weeell, and driiiinkin'."

"Oh, ok! Hold on," replied Joanne. There was no way they could get Collins out of there. "I'll go get someone to help him out of there." She said to Roger. But just as she spoke she heard a splash, and then another one! The remaining five looked down and saw Angel and Mimi splashing each other with Stoli. They all burst out laughing. Next came Maureen and Roger, who both grabbed one of Mark's hands and dragged him in too.

After a lot of screaming and cursing from Mark, mostly at Maureen, Angel dragged him under and pretty soon he was as drunk as the others.

Joanne and Benny were still standing by the edge, laughing with the rest of them, but still not jumping in.

"Come on pookie!! You can do it," Cried Maureen.

"Oh, what the hell!" Joanne threw off her blazer and did a swan dive right into Maureen's arms.

"Come on Benny!"

"Yea, dont be such a yuppie!!"

"Jump! Jump! Jump!!"

Just as Benny was about to jump, a security guard and a tour guide, who had some tourists dressed up far too much for a tour of a brewery, ran over.

"Stop right there!! What are you doing?!?" Yelled the security guard.

"Dont make a scene! I have an important business man!!" Yelled the tour guide as he quietly apologized to the over dressed couple holding an Akita.

"Mr. Grey?!?" said an extremely surprised Benny, "What are you doing here?!"

"So are these the losers you hang out with now?" Mr. Grey said, motioning to the seven bohemians in the tub of Stoli.

"Honey, lets go..." Replied a worried Mrs. Grey, now stroking the Akita.

"Alright," Mr. Grey said to his wife. He turned back to Benny, "I'll need the rent." He walked away and out of the building, a worried tour guide and security guard ran after him.

The seven drunk friends in the Stoli became slightly sober for a second as they awaited Benny's reaction to this interesting meeting.

"Oh, well," said Benny, "Who cares about him." And with that, Benny, flailing his arms and legs in all directions, jumped into the Stoli.

The eight became part of the exhibit. Everyone enjoyed, well, sort of enjoyed, seeing the eight crazy friends splashing around (and getting drunk) in the Stoli.

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Please review!!!!! Tell me if you liked it!!! Tell me if I should add another chapter of their antics!!!


	2. Protests

**Bohemians in the Brewery**

**Summary **– Pretty much, the Bohemians get lost in a brewery and after getting drunk they decide to hold a, sorry FOUR protests on various topics. Yea... Then I may add other chapters with more of their adventures in a brewery, 'cause lets face it, the bohemians could do SOOOOOO much if left alone in a brewery. Humor rocks. This is what you get when you are stuck in your auditorium, listening to your principal talk, crowded in with the rest of your grade for the THIRD assembly of the day.

Back by popular demand (aka three reviews and me really wanting to add) I am adding more adventures of the bohemians in a brewery.

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After the guards finally got down to the Stoli and dragged eight very drunk bohemians out of the alcohol, the bohos were sitting outside the manager's office, awaiting their punishment.

"Tom Collins, we're ready for you now."

"haaaaaa, I feel liiiike middle schooool. Hi Mr. Principal, what's up duuuude?!? Soooorry I parked your car on top of the building, it was all his idea!!!" Collins pointed to the coat rack.

"On second though," said the manager, "Why dont I just take you all at once and get this over with."

The rest of the bohemians stood up, wobbled a little and stumbled in to the office, collapsing into a big pile on his floor and laughing so hard that they just looked like a mound of colors that was vibrating. The manager took a seat and simply waited for the madness to stop.

About five minutes later, they all looked up at him. He turned to them and said, "Now, just to examine the damages done to our factory, you have-"

"Factory?!?" Maureen exclaimed, "How could you open a factory?!? Do you know what that does to the environment?!?! You're killing Elsie!!!" She turned to her friends. "He's killing Elsie!!"

"We should moo!!" Screamed a drunken Mark.

"Yeaa!!!!!" They all screamed and they ran out into the hall. The manager didn't feel like dealing with this today. They would come back.

The eight ran down the halls mooing at the top of their lungs. "MOO!!! MOO WITH ME!!! MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! DONT KILL ELSIE!!!! MOOOOOOOO!!!! DONT BE THE BULLDOG!!!! MOOOOOO WIIIIITH MEEEEEE!!!!!"

This continued for about 10 minutes, until they got bored. A few people actually mooed with them. After laughing even more about their first drunken protest, they sat back down (But not in chairs!!) in the manager's office.

"Ok," He said, "about those damages. You caused multiple disruptions by your... uh... odd behavior-"

"Are you punishing us because we're gay?!?" Screamed Maureen, "That is total discrimination!!"

"Yea man!!" Said Collins, hugging Angel who had burst into tears, "That's not cool!!!"

"This has nothing to do with that!!! I was just-"

"How could you say this!?!?!" Sobbed Angel.

"What, now your going to say Roger and Mimi are gonna get in trouble because they have HIV, or I'm gonna get busted for wearing a scarf, or Benny for being a yuppie scum?!?!" Said mark.

"Hey!" Said Benny

"Noooo!!!" Screamed the manager, "Oh, why am I wasting my brain cells over this!"

"Are you saying you dont care?!?!?" Cried Mimi who had now also burst into tears and was hugging Angel.

"At this point, the manager just left the room, they could cry for a while, while he got some work done. He would come back in when he heard them singing, that would let him know it was remotely safe.

------Ten Minutes Later------

"La Vie Boheme!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The manager heard singing through the door so he said goodbye to his secretary and went back in his office to deal with the bohemians.

"Ok, so back to those damages. By swimming in a vat of Stoli-

"STOOOLIIIII!!!!" Collins screamed.

"Yes, anyway, you ruined that entire batch-"

"Are you calling us failures?!?!?" Screamed Maureen for her second protest of the day, this may have been a new record. "Just because we are artists and free spirited-"

"And living in the east village," replied Mark.

"Doe not mean we are failures!!" Maureen finished. "We dont need to take that!!! Come on everyone, let's go!!" She grabbed Joanne and they both sauntered out of the room like royalty. Everyone followed except the manager. He simply sat at his desk and waited. Five minutes later a security guard came in dragging the eight bohos behind him. They flopped onto the floor and continued listening to the manager's drone.

"As I was saying, we have requested that you pay for the materials and extra work time needed to make up for the merchandise and profits you destroyed."

"No way man!!!!" Screamed Roger, beginning this protest instead of Maureen, "You'll never turn off our power!!!!"

"Yea!!! You won't betray us!! The past is going down!!!!" Replied Mark.

They all chimed in at this, "We're not gonna pay, we're not gonna pay, we're not gonna pay, damage fees, damage fees, DAMAGE FEES!! Fees, fees, fees, fees!! We're not gonna pay fees!! Cause everything is fees!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

At this note, the secretary came in. She had been listening to their entire conversation. She had heard them mooing, and Maureen and Joanne kissing and now them _singing_?!?! "Ok, I've been trying to hold this down, I mean, I know you're like, drunk and all but OMG!!! WTF?!?!?! You guys are crazy!!!! I have to insist you leave now!!!!! You're really just creeping me out!!!"  
"Well gee; all you had to do was ask!" Said Benny.

And with that the bohemians stumbled out of the office. Seven of them took the bus home (they forgot to assign a designated driver) but Joanne stopped for a beer on the way out before the security guard found her and kicked her out. When they got back to the loft they realized she was missing, but they were too tired to look for her, it had been a long day a truthfully, they were so drunk they hardly realized she was gone. Ten minutes later when Joanne walked in, Maureen finally realized she should have been worried.

"Baby, did you drive drunk back?" Said Maureen

"No," Said Jo as she fell into Mo's arms, "I walked... and fell a lot."

After about two minutes of babbling aimlessly, they all fell asleep on the couch (since after all the swimming, and the protests it was almost 2 AM by now) and woke up the next morning with extremely bad hangovers.

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Just so you know, this is NOT the end!!! I am going to add another couple of difficulties at another brewery and maybe make it even have a sort of plot line!! Wow, that may be hard with this beginning. So any way, keep looking for more!! Please review!!!!!

Oh, also - anyone who can find the two secret lines (actually I think there are more, but two will do) that relates to a song in RENT will get a virtual pie. PM me for preference of blueberry or cherry. If you're really cool, then you can have apple!! Oh, and there is one line (Again, I think I added more because I live in these songs and I write about them naturally without even realizing it) hidden in here from another show (it's morphed a little) so tell me if you can find it!!!


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